Jake Goldman Will Throw You Into A Volcano

Me: Tony, why didn’t your reality show “Teach: Tony Danza,” go off the air?

Tony Danza: Legal battles over my constant use of the words “hand job” in the classroo–OH FUCK A SEAPLANE

Me: Do you ever miss boxing, Tony?

Tony: In what sense?

Me: Well, the whole thing, really.  The competition, the glory of winning a title belt, the screaming crowds, jump-roping at incredibly high speeds.  That sort of stuff.

Tony: I miss how I used to eat a feather boa after every match OH FUCK A FLOCK OF ALBATROSS